When to Get Help

WHEN TO GET HELP
The vast majority of people wait too long before they seek help for emotional pain. Most wait until they are in crisis, when the pain can’t be tolerated any longer. They will exhaust every avenue they perceive as less threatening: dwelling on the problem, reading or praying about it, talking to friends, family, co-workers, hairdressers or talk show hosts about it, nagging the person with whom they are frustrated, or they will just avoid dealing with it and hope the problem will fade away on its own over time. Unfortunately, many times these strategies do not work and oftentimes only serve to make the problem worse: The earlier a problem is addressed, the less damage is done to the person’s relationships and the sooner the person can feel satisfaction and a sense of peace.

In our society there unfortunately continues to be a stigma attached to seeing a mental health professional. This is very ironic for a number of reasons: First of all, life is very difficult at times and realizing when we need help and seeking that help are signs of good judgment, maturity, courage, and resourcefulness. Secondly, the therapeutic relationship is one of the most supportive, compassionate, validating, healing and dignifying experiences a person can have. Licensed Clinical Social Workers (LCSW's) who have chosen this profession feel a deep respect for older adults and are dedicated to helping them thrive. LCSW's help individuals feel the self-acceptance and sense of self-worth that are their birthright. Third, while many people don’t speak openly about meeting with a geriatric LCSW, if asked, they will admit how beneficial the experience has been and how they wished they had sought it earlier.

Many older people accept and tolerate their unhappiness for far too long because it feels familiar and they don’t realize how much better they could be feeling. Perhaps as children they witnessed their parents’ depression, anxiety, temper, marital conflict, domestic violence or addiction. They may have been subjected to the acting out of siblings, sexual abuse, physical abuse, discrimination, bullying or other traumatic experiences.
Many people think that they should not complain or expect more for themselves because they never had any of the severe problems their parents or siblings have, as cited above. However, geriatric professionals know too well how common it is for people to have experienced a sense of emotional abandonment or neglect, or chronic psychological or emotional difficulties equally as damaging. Individuals must get help when the pains and losses of the past that negatively effect relationships with self and others. With professional help these issues can be resolved and healed in therapy.
Many people have been raised by parents who had patterns of being impatient, critical, insensitive, perfectionistic or intolerant of certain emotions. Children raised in such homes learn very quickly to deny and suppress their feelings. They learn to repress their needs and opinions. They become passive. It is time to get help when the individual puts others' needs above their own, without realizing it. They often become submissive, denying themselves of their own happiness. They blame themselves when they struggle or they try harder to please others. And they don’t believe they deserve or need help. A geriatric licensed social worker can help you recognize that their feelings, needs and opinions are as important as other people’s and show them the way to achieving the autonomy and happiness they do deserve.
You are in need of professional help is when you find yourself spinning your wheels. If weeks are going by and you have tried everything you can think of and things are pretty much the same or you are unhappy, schedule a consultation with a mental health professional. There is an excellent chance the clinician has had ample experience helping others with similar needs and can clearly see a way out that you haven’t been able to imagine.
Another way to know that you could benefit from professional help is when you find yourself engaged in “self-defeating” behaviors. You find yourself doing something over and over again, even though you know it isn’t for the best. Similarly, when you want very much to be able to do something and just find it impossible to get yourself to do it. Geriatric LCSWs are trained to know how to help you overcome these puzzling and frustrating patterns.
People tend to procrastinate about getting professional help. When people avoid dealing with painful problems, they need supportive counseling. There is a long list of ways that people try to cope and distract themselves from their difficulties. Almost any behavior can be done compulsively and to excess and serve as a strategy to manage or avoid problems and upsetting emotions. Some examples, some signs that professional help is needed include: abusing alcohol or drugs, restricting or over-eating, over-sleeping, being preoccupied with your health and diet, or over-invested in others' lives.
When people turn off or ignore their feelings, they lose the signals that would tell them that they have a problem and need to take action. If you listen and respect the integrity of your feelings and emotions, they will let you know when you are hurting. If there were no help available for you, it would be wise to avoid your problems and feelings. But you are not alone at all and you can finally find the emotional support and guidance you have needed to face and resolve your pain. Just pick up the phone and call a TheraCounselor near you.
If you cannot envision a future and feel hopeless about the future, then you need immediate help. If you are seriously thinking about suicide, and have the means and intention to carry it out, you must get help now. Call a friend or relative to take you to the emergency room now, or call a crisis center or 911 for help. Do not delay as you seriously need treatment now.